Nick Cannon has had so many children that there are genuine debates over how to count them.
Birth order does not match up to announcement order, for one thing. He now has 12 children among a number of mothers.
Nick and various women welcomed five of those children in 2022 alone.
At this point, we’re sure that even he is having trouble keeping track. For Nick, and the rest of us, here’s a guide to Nick’s very productive 2022:
A lot of people have made fun of Nick Cannon for either an inability or unwillingness to make responsible reproductive choices.
It’s pretty funny … until you consider what it might be like for a dozen children who grow up with their father a meme-worthy subject of well-deserved ridicule. Not to mention the inevitable feelings from having a dad whose attention is that divided.
But let’s momentarily set aside the lives that these children will lead and Nick Cannon’s other glaring moral failings and stick to the wee babes of 2022.
Bre Tiesi is one of the newest stars of Selling Sunset Season 6.
The hit reality realty series seems to be one of the only shows that Netflix did not cancel last year.
Bre had a busy start to her summer — she gave birth to Legendary Love Cannon on June 28, 2022.
Nick’s son, Legendary, was only the first.
Come to think of it, we shouldn’t overlook the timeline of Cannon’s 2022 birthing spree.
The first of five children didn’t take his first breath until days before the halfway point of the year. They weren’t spread out, basically.
LaNisha Cole is a successful model.
People know her best for her enduring career on The Price Is Right.
But though she may play coy on social media about her ties to Nick Cannon, the two will be forever linked.
On September 14, 2022, LaNisha Cole gave birth to a daughter. Nick Cannon’s daughter.
His second child of the year’s name is Onyx Ice Cole Cannon.
Yes, his “creativity” when naming his children is as legendary as Onyx’s older brother. But honestly, we’ve heard worse.
Brittany Bell is a broadcast journalist and also, being that she is a total knockout, an NBA dancer.
She is no stranger to firing off Cannons — ahem, we mean to say, to having kids with this particular man.
On September 23, 2022, Brittany gave birth to Nick’s third child of the year. This is also her third child with him.
Their young daughter’s actual human name is Rise Messiah Cannon.
That is a choice. But then, all of this is a choice.
Perhaps the Cannons will embrace their names as they grow older. Or perhaps some money from the Cannon family fortune will go into multiple legal name changes.
Like Brittany Bell, Abby De La Rosa has had children with Nick Cannon before.
And she, too, gave birth to her third child with him this year.
On November 11, 2022 — an auspicious (or at least, conceptually pleasing) date — she and Nick welcomed a daughter.
Her name is Beautiful Zeppelin Cannon.
Is there a story behind her middle name? In this family, the first name seems self-explanatory. But the middle?
No word yet on if Nick has any Handsome Dirigibles planned for 2023, but he and Abby laid the groundwork with their young daughter’s name.
Alyssa Scott is a gorgeous model.
In 2021, she and Nick mourned the loss of their son, Zen, who was still a baby.
That heartbreaking tragedy was not the end of their story, however.
The two welcomed Halo Marie Cannon on December 14, 2022.
She was Nick’s fifth child of the year.
You know, if he’d really tried, perhaps he could have tried to squeeze in (or out?) another before 2023. But it’s just as well that he did not.
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